Coup de Jouissance, 2020
Oil, 24 x 26 x 1 in
On display at the Downtown Eugene Public Library
I am a 22-year-old transgender artist born and raised in Eugene. My work is entirely self-taught and engages with concepts that bear heavily on my life. My work is sometimes a form of escapism from a world that is hostile to me and people like me, who are visibly and loudly transgender, who are too mentally ill to hold a job and who are obstacles to the flows of capital. In my paintings, I envision sweeter worlds and sweeter pockets of this world, which I want to realize and preserve. This is how I connect to people, to myself and to the world itself.
Coup de Jouissance is a cross section of small acts of sedition and joy. In a world full of fences, trespassing signs, murdering police and a culture of repression, breaking the law for the sake of it just feels good. This painting was conceived in the summer of 2020, a summer of curfews and teargas and unemployment and smoke and sirens and sun and plague. The ubiquitous and overwhelming feeling of dread was assuaged only by somatic acts of rebellion. Jacques Lacan defines "jouissance" as an enjoyment beyond the satisfaction of an instinct, and a superabundance of vitality. As the crises of capitalism continue in iterations, as the world burns and the state represses further and further, what choices will we make? How does one live in these conditions?
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